10 Apr

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes, I Am Time

When I was 16, living in Brooklyn with my parents, one summer night I drove to Brighton Beach and sat on the rocks along the shore. Reflections from the moon danced on the water, the ocean breathed in the surf and breathed out a roar. The night sky was a black blanket with pinholes to unknowable worlds on its other side. Lights and sounds vibrating the air, every-thing teeming with aliveness; unique, unlike anything experienced before.

I wondered why the ocean, expressing itself with motion and sound, was not considered as alive as are plants and animals. What did it mean to be alive? The "alive" classification made little sense. Classifications, descriptions and thoughts generally felt artificial, man-made; helpful for organizing and communicating, but otherwise empty of aliveness.

Who am I in all this?

...

09 Apr

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes, I Am Time

A couple of years back, I was introduced with a renowned "spiritual master." We spoke at length and when it was clear that I was comfortably retired, he suggested: "As I know the workings of God and you've got the money and time to do as you wish, let's spend a year together studying spiritual matters." I then asked him what would we do following year, to which he replied: "Then I'll have the money and time to do as I wish and you'll know the workings of God."...

29 Mar

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes, I Am Time

"When the time comes our adopted daughter asks how she is different than her brother and sister whom we had naturally, I'll tell her that her brother and sister came from mommy's stomach and she came from mommy's heart." -- S.S.P. S.S.P. is a dear friend who adopted a four year old from an orphanage in India....

25 Mar

Posted at 10:41h in Anecdotes, I Am Time

I was born a bit after my mother's due date. It was a difficult birth as the delivering doctor struggled to pull me out from my mother's womb; ultimately needing forceps to do so. As it was a long and fraught procedure, out of curiosity my mother asked the doctor if such a difficult birth signaled anything about me. The doctor looked at my mother, who didn't come across as having lots of shiny marbles in her head, and said: "Your son may not be particularly smart, but is very wise. He delayed coming out as long as he could, knowing he came from heaven and life on Earth is anything but that."...

18 Mar

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes, I Am Time

The Covid pandemic was a once in a generation psychological test that revealed the nature of each mind; a reality check. Though the pandemic panic has subsided, many people still refuse to give up on the vaccines, masks, social distancing, etc. They are held captive by their traumatic memories, prisoners of their mind. They cannot experience the now as it unfolds, only as it is framed by their mind in the context of Covid. Those who are free of the past, look back and laugh at the Covid fiasco. As to the pandemic itself, it was beautiful. An experience shared worldwide as it was the focus of everyone's attention. One felt connected to all sentient beings as sentient beings, oblivious to their identity group memberships. It was like the end of days, the apocalypse; the lifting of the veil of artificial constructs like race, nationality, religion and economic status to reveal all as simply sentient beings; all as one. A brief and powerful peak moment in the making of collective history that quickly descended into a Tower of Babel. Moreover, Covid was a healthy systemic process. Like a hurricane, Covid cleansed the human tree of life of weak limbs that were otherwise dying slowly. This was good for the environment as it resulted in less adult diapers to dispose of....

02 Sep

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes

When I was 13 I didn't need glasses but marveled at the experience of those who did. I thought people with myopia could see things two ways, with and without glasses. Poor eyesight seemed like a blessing that could lead to interesting insights. This might be the case. With myopia, one realizes they don't know what they are looking at. This arouses curiosity which exercises the mind. A well-exercised mind is fitter. Statistically, people who are myopic have a higher IQ than those who are not.  ...

21 May

Posted at 10:15h in Anecdotes

The mind can make the most pleasurable things unpleasurable. I was recently informed by my sister that my father, an orthodox Jew, was angry the night he consummated his marriage to my mother. Their lovemaking turned from pleasure to anger when he realized my mother was not a virgin as she had claimed. I thought it funny that his mind distracted him from the pleasure at hand; that she had bed others before him and mislead him seemed besides the point. I don't know whether my father was upset because he felt my mother's deception compromised the foundational trust upon which a solid relationship is built upon or perhaps my father felt that marriage was a significant financial commitment on his part for which he expected to have first dibs on certain bedroom benefits; yet, apparently, others received the benefits for free....

11 Jan

Posted at 09:48h in Anecdotes, Observations

Some 25 years back, in the “old city” section of Jerusalem, I stepped into a shop selling antiquities. As I looked at various objects in glass cases, the owner of the shop introduced himself and said he’d been an antiquities dealer for more than fifty years, had dealt in very fine and desirable objects and was sure he had something I'd like. I told him I’d been collecting antiquities for some time and wanted to look around. He then asked: “What are you looking for.”  I replied: “I don’t know what I’m looking for until I find it.” To which he said: “In that case, you’re looking for nothing.” While not apparent to me at the time, ultimately he was right. Now, after many years of collecting antiquities and tribal art and generally living to pursue personal desires, eureka: nothing. Looking for nothing, desiring nothing; not because I have everything, but as I am the everything....

03 Mar

Posted at 00:00h in Anecdotes

All our wishes come true but not in the forms we imagine. In 1973 I graduated from college and planned to start working, have a family and take a year at a Zen monastery when I reached 40, like Philip Kapleau who wrote The Three Pillars of Zen. At 40, my family and business partners would not have been encouraging had I taken a year-long sabbatical. However, at 43 my family and 140 friends threw a farewell party for me at the Harvard Club before I left for a 13 month stay at a Federal prison. What landed me in prison was my involvement in an "insider trading" case. I personally profited $50K. Legal fees cost me roughly $2M and fines and penalties another $1.8M. Moreover, I was no longer allowed to manage other people's money, though all of my investors stayed with me until I was prohibited from working. As a result of my not being allow to work, my net worth today is not even a tiny fraction of what it would have been otherwise. I didn't think that my trading was criminal. But others obviously did. In any event, the cost of going to trial, fines, penalties and the sanctions placed upon me undoubtedly were punitive to an extreme.  How do I feel? Pretty good as I play squash 4 - 5 times a week and I play with the prosecutor in my case. Why? Because I was born with the gene of happiness and the prosecutor is a wonderful guy, good squash player. I did learn something from this ordeal: best be careful what we wish for as every wish will come true but not in the form we imagine. While I didn't go to a traditional Zen monastery, prison was a Zen monastery of sorts. It did provide an awakening moment. During my stay, my interactions with the other prisoners was for the most part fun. As well, I generously paid some to make my bed, clean the shower before I used it and make me foods like hand-cut French fries. The night before I left the prison, I asked a group of inmates whether they would miss me as we had a good time together. Seemingly in unison, they said no, because they hated me. I was a bit shocked. They said they hated me because I had such a good time. Maybe they needed a Zen monastery more than I did....