28 Jun Reconstructing Our Stories

We create stories from our selective memories. Some of our stories are sad, painful, traumatic or otherwise disturbing. However, we have much latitude in the stories we create. Even the most tragic stories we can reconstruct to be funny. If not funny from our perspective, then from the perspective of others. We can deploy the perspective of others once we detach ourselves from the person we identify as ourselves in the past. While doing so may be difficult, illesim can help the process.

Illesim is referring to ourselves in the third person. By doing so, we recognize that who we are now is not the same person we once were.

For example, I recall that “when I was a child my father would often scream and at times hit me for irritating him. In fact, one time he said he wished I was never born.” That’s a brutal recollection. Alternatively, I can recall the same story as “when Victor was a child his father would often scream and at times hit him because Victor irritated him. In fact, one time his father said he wished Victor was never born.” Recounting this story in the third person detaches me from it; makes me feel like I’m in the audience watching it as a play. From that perspective, it’s funny. Funny because Victor seemed to enjoy irritating his father even at the cost of his father going berserk and being abusive. Clearly the scene was not a problem for Victor. That Victor’s father wished Victor had never been born was his father’s problem.

In the audience sit the Gods.